I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
