ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
