K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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