You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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