I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
