Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
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Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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