bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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