they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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