Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
