Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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