There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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