Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
