I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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