If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
