i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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