Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
