K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
