that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize