your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
