I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
