Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
