It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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