I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize