Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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