Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
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