No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
