The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
MIDGETS
????
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
