We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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