every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize