You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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