margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
