you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
