I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
