my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
