My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
