she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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