Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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