she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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