I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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