Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
