I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
