i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
