i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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