Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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