when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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