I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
