you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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