I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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