Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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