just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
