I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
