ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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