a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
