Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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