You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
