ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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