He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize