Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
