No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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