margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Sponge bath it is.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You ruined the universe
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
