no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
