3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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