You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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